Should I Skip the Gift Exchange?

Esme says: My swim team always does Secret Santa. This year, our captain, Lola, decided that the gift limit would be $50. That’s double what it was last year! I don’t want to miss out, but I can’t afford such a pricey gift. What should I do?

Esme says: My swim team always does Secret Santa. This year, our captain, Lola, set the gift limit at $50. That’s twice what it was last year! I don’t want to miss out. But I can’t afford a $50 gift. What should I do?

Esme says: My swim team always does Secret Santa. This year, our captain, Lola, decided that the spending limit would be $50—double what it was last year! I don’t want to miss out, but I can’t afford such an expensive gift. What should I do?

Rasha says: You can still take part!  

    Wow, you’re in a tricky spot. I’m sure you don’t want to be left out of the team tradition. But that’s so much money! I would be really stressed too.

    The good news is, you don’t have to spend $50. Gift exchange limits are just that—limits. That’s how much you can spend, so it’s really $50 or less. I doubt Lola expects everyone to spend exactly $50.

    That really opens things up. In fact, I see an opportunity here: With a little creativity, you can give the coolest gift. After all, the best presents are thoughtful, not expensive! And you know all your teammates super well. With that knowledge and your amazing art skills, your gift can be personal and unique.   

    Do you remember that painting you did of my dog for my birthday last year? It’s still hanging over my bed. I love it, and I swear it’s worth so much more to me than $50. Hopefully that makes you feel better about taking part in the exchange!

Rasha says: You can still take part!  

    You’re in a tough spot. I’m sure you don’t want to be left out, but that’s a lot of money! I would be stressed too.

    The good news is, you don’t have to spend $50. Gift exchange limits are just that—limits. That’s the most you can spend, so it’s really $50 or less. I doubt Lola expects everyone to spend exactly $50.

    I have an idea: Make a gift. The best presents are thoughtful, not expensive! You know all your teammates really well. And you’re great at art. You can make something really special.   

    Remember that painting you did of my dog for my birthday last year? It’s still hanging over my bed. I love it. It’s worth much more to me than $50. I hope that makes you feel better about taking part in the exchange!

Rasha says: You can still take part!  

    Wow, you’re in a difficult situation. I’m sure you don’t want to be left out of the team tradition, but $50 is a lot of money! I would be really stressed too.

    The good news is, you don’t have to spend $50. Gift exchange limits are just that—limits. They’re the maximum amount you can spend, so it’s actually $50 or less. It’s unlikely that Lola expects everyone to spend exactly $50.

    That really opens things up—in fact, this could be an opportunity to get creative and give a truly meaningful gift. After all, the best presents are thoughtful, not expensive! You know all your teammates incredibly well—and with that knowledge and your amazing artistic talent, your gift can be personal and unique.   

    Do you remember that painting you did of my dog for my birthday last year? It’s still hanging over my bed, and I swear it’s worth so much more to me than $50. Hopefully that makes you feel better about participating in the exchange!

Zig says: Speak up—or skip it.

    Rasha gave you some great ideas. But you’re probably still worried about being the only one not bringing a shiny new gift. I get it. 

    The truth is, I bet you’re not the only person stressed about it. Doubling the price limit is a big move. In fact, I think it’s kind of unfair. Everyone deserves to take part in this fun team activity, no matter how much they can spend.

    That’s why I think you should speak up. You can ask to go back to the $25 limit, or you could propose a new plan. I recently saw a really cool idea on YouTube: Secondhand Santa! No one is allowed to buy anything new. You can regift an item you already own or buy something at a thrift store. 

    Why not suggest it? It’s fun, it’s cheap, and the presents will be unique. Plus it’s better for the environment. Everyone wins. And if Lola says no, you’ll know you tried to make the gift exchange fair. Then you can sit it out and feel good about yourself.

Zig says: Speak up—or skip it.

    Rasha gave you some great ideas. But you might still be worried. It can feel weird to be the only one not bringing a fancy gift. I get it.

    Other people might be stressed about this too. Doubling the price limit is kind of unfair. Everyone should be able to take part in this activity, no matter how much they can spend.

    I think you should speak up. You can ask to go back to the $25 limit, or you can propose a new plan. I saw a cool idea on YouTube: Secondhand Santa! No one buys anything new. You can give away something you own. Or you can buy something at a thrift store.

    Why not suggest it? It’s fun, it’s cheap, and the gifts will be unique. Plus it’s better for the planet. Everyone wins. And if Lola says no? Skip the gift exchange. At least you’ll know you tried to make it fair.

Zig says: Speak up—or skip it.

    Rasha gave you some useful suggestions—but if you’re still anxious about being the only one not bringing a shiny new gift, I understand that.

    The truth is, I’ll bet you’re not the only person stressed about the increased spending limit. Making a change that big was inconsiderate of Lola. Everybody deserves to take part in this fun team activity, regardless of what they can spend.

    That’s why I think you should either ask to return to the $25 limit or propose a new idea. I recently saw a really interesting idea on YouTube called Secondhand Santa! Instead of buying anything new, everyone regifts an item they already own or buys something at a thrift store.

    Why not suggest it? It’s fun, it’s affordable, and the presents will be unique. It’s also better for the environment, so everyone wins. If Lola rejects the idea, at least you’ll know you tried to make the exchange fair—and then you can feel OK about skipping it.