Felix says: Last summer, I met a girl named Ellie at dance camp. We’ve been texting ever since. It was fun at first, but now her drama is stressing me out. All she does is complain. I don’t want to be her friend anymore, but I hate hurting people’s feelings. Can I just ghost her?

Felix says: Last summer, I met a girl named Ellie at dance camp. We’ve been texting since we left camp. It was fun at first, but now it’s stressful. All she does is complain. I don’t want to be friends anymore, but I hate hurting people’s feelings! Can I just ghost her? 

Felix says: I met a girl named Ellie at dance camp last summer, and we’ve been texting ever since we left camp. It was enjoyable at first, but now her constant complaining is stressing me out. I don’t want to be her friend anymore, but I hate hurting people’s feelings—so can I just ghost her? 

Aneeta says: It’s OK to stop responding.  

    Sure, getting ghosted is no fun. But sometimes it’s the least messy option. 

    This was your last summer at dance camp, right? You’ll probably never see Ellie again. If I were you, I’d just stop answering her texts.

    Obviously, it’s best to let people know why you don’t want to be friends anymore. But that can get complicated. Last year, I started texting with someone from another school. He said something rude about my dads, so I told him I didn’t want to talk anymore. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and got really mean! Eventually, I had to block him. I wish I had just ghosted him in the first place.

    Plus, you can spare Ellie an awkward conversation. If I were her, I wouldn’t want to hear why you don’t want to be my friend. I’d rather grow apart naturally. Camp friends rarely stay in touch. Just stop responding, and she’ll get the message.

Aneeta says: It’s OK to stop responding.  

    Sure, getting ghosted is no fun. But sometimes it’s the simplest choice. 

    This was your last summer at dance camp, right? You’ll probably never see Ellie again. If I were you, I’d just stop answering her texts.

    Of course it’s best to explain why you’re ending a friendship. But that can get messy. Last year, I was texting with someone from another school. He said something rude about my dads, so I told him I didn’t want to talk anymore. He wouldn’t accept that. He got really mean! I had to block him. I wish I had just ghosted him in the first place.

    Plus, explaining would be awkward. If I were Ellie, I wouldn’t want to hear why you don’t want to be friends. I’d rather grow apart naturally. Camp friends rarely stay in touch. Just stop responding. She’ll get the message.

Aneeta says: It’s OK to stop responding.  

    Sure, getting ghosted doesn’t feel great—but in some situations, it’s the least messy option.

    This was your last summer at dance camp, wasn’t it? You’ll probably never see Ellie again, so I recommend you just stop answering her texts.

    Obviously, it’s more straightforward to offer an explanation when ending a friendship—but that can get complicated and uncomfortable. Last year, I started texting with someone from another school. He said something disrespectful about my dads, so I told him I didn’t want to be in contact anymore. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and started being really mean, and I was eventually forced to block him. I wish I had just ghosted him in the first place.

    Also, you can spare Ellie an awkward, embarrassing conversation by ghosting. If I were her, I’d rather grow apart naturally than hear why you’re no longer interested in being my friend. Camp friends don’t usually stay in touch anyway—so just stop responding, and she’ll get the message.

Trent says: It’s better to let her down easy.

    Imagine if a friend started ignoring you at school. You talk to them, and they look right through you. You ask a question, and they turn away. You would be so hurt, right? That’s exactly what being ghosted is like. Just because it’s happening on a screen doesn’t make it any less painful.

    Think about it: When you ghost someone, they don’t know what to think. It can be confusing. Ellie would probably ask herself: What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Why won’t he respond? Maybe he just lost his phone. Maybe he’s in trouble. No matter how much Ellie stresses you out, she shouldn’t have to go through that. 

    If it makes you feel better, you don’t have to be totally honest. In fact, it’s probably kinder to let her down easy. Tell her you had a great time with her at camp but aren’t into texting. Tell her you’re too busy with school and football. Just tell her something. It’s really not fair to leave her with questions.

Trent says: It’s better to let her down easy.

    Imagine if a friend started ignoring you at school. You talk to them, and they look right through you. You ask a question, and they turn away. You would be hurt, right? That’s what being ghosted is like. It happens on a screen, but it still hurts.

    Think about it: When you ghost someone, they don’t know what to think. It can be confusing. Ellie would probably ask herself: What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Why won’t he respond? Maybe he just lost his phone. Maybe he’s in trouble. She shouldn’t have to go through that.

    And you don’t have to be totally honest. It’s probably kinder to let her down easy. Tell her you had a great time with her at camp but don’t like texting. Tell her you’re busy with school and football. Just tell her something. It’s not fair to leave her with questions.

Trent says: It’s better to let her down easy.

    Imagine if a friend started ignoring you at school. You talk to them, and they look right through you. You ask a question, and they turn away. You would be really hurt, wouldn’t you? That’s exactly what being ghosted is like, and the fact that it’s happening on a screen doesn’t make it an acceptable way to treat another person.

    When you ghost someone, you leave them with a lot of uncertainty. Ellie would probably ask herself: What did I do? Did I say something offensive? Why isn’t he responding? Maybe he just lost his phone—or maybe he’s in trouble. No matter how negative or irritating Ellie’s texts might be, she doesn’t deserve to experience all that confusion.

    If it helps with your discomfort, you don’t have to be absolutely honest—in fact, it’s probably more considerate to let her down easy. Tell Ellie you enjoyed her company at camp but aren’t into texting, or say you’re simply too busy with school and football. Practically any explanation will be better than leaving her with all those unanswered questions.