Erin says: Kali has been my best friend since third grade, but we don’t have much in common anymore. I love theater. She’s more into sports. We both end up hanging out with our new friends instead of each other. Should I let the friendship go or keep trying?

Erin says: Kali has been my best friend since third grade. But we don’t have much in common these days. I love theater. She loves sports. We both end up hanging out with our new friends, not with each other. Should I let the friendship go? 

Erin says: Kali has been my best friend since third grade, but we don’t have much in common these days. Because I love theater and she’s more interested in sports, we both end up hanging out with our new friends instead of each other. Should I let the friendship go or keep trying? 

Mindy says: Let her go.  

    What’s happening with you and Kali feels pretty normal to me. Ever since we started middle school, friendships have been changing. It seems like every week a new one has started or an old one is ending! It might be sad, but I think you should let the friendship go. It’s natural for friends to drift apart. 

    Right now, we’re really figuring out who we are. And maybe you and Kali just don’t go together anymore. Let me ask you: Are you still friends with your best friends from preschool? Of course not. Not all friendships have to be lifelong!

    There’s no point in forcing a friendship. You’ve both found new interests and new people to spend time with. That’s not something you need to feel guilty about. Now you can hang out with the drama kids. Kali can do the same with the field hockey team. I bet you’ll both be happier once you’re not trying so hard to save the friendship.

Mindy says: Let her go.  

    What’s happening with you and Kali feels normal to me. Since we started middle school, friendships have been changing. It seems like every week a new one starts or an old one ends! It might be sad, but I think you should let the friendship go. It’s natural for friends to drift apart.

    Right now, we’re figuring out who we are. Maybe you and Kali just don’t go together anymore. Let me ask you: Are you still friends with your best friends from preschool? Of course not. Not all friendships are lifelong!

    You can’t force a friendship. You’ve both found new interests and new friends. You don’t need to feel guilty about that. You can hang out with the theater kids. Kali can hang out with the field hockey team. You might both be happier once you’re not trying so hard to stay friends.

Mindy says: Let her go.  

    The situation between you and Kali feels pretty normal to me. Ever since we started middle school, friendships have been changing. It seems like every week a new one has started or an old one is ending! Although it might be sad, I think you should let the friendship go. It’s natural for friends to drift apart.

    Right now, we’re figuring out who we are—and maybe you and Kali simply don’t go together anymore. I mean, you aren’t still close with your best friends from preschool, are you? Not every friendship has to be lifelong!

    There’s no point in forcing a friendship. You’ve both found new interests and new people to socialize with, and that’s not something you need to feel guilty about. Now you can hang out with the drama kids, and Kali can do the same with the field hockey team. You’ll probably both be happier once you’re not trying so hard to save the friendship.

Justin says: Keep trying.

    Wow, I thought you and Kali would be best friends forever! You’ve always been so close, and I don’t think you should give that up so fast. Here’s the thing: You don’t need to hang out all the time to save the friendship. That’s why I think you should keep trying.

    It’s great that you and Kali are finding new friends and following new interests. But that doesn’t mean you can’t bond over other stuff. You both still like to sing, right? And nobody loves K-pop as much as you two! Why not continue to enjoy the things you both love together? 

    The truth is, friendships change—and that’s OK! It’s good to learn how to work on a relationship instead of giving up on it. If you tell her what you’re thinking, it might make both of you feel better. But if you let the friendship fizzle, she might always wonder if she did something wrong. Is that really how you want this to end? 

Justin says: Keep trying.

    Wow, I thought you and Kali would be best friends forever! You’ve always been so close. I don’t think you should give that up so fast. Here’s the thing: You don’t need to hang out all the time to be friends. That’s why I think you should keep trying.

    You and Kali have new friends and new interests. But you can still bond over other stuff. You both still like to sing, right? And no one loves K-pop as much as you two! Why not keep sharing the things you both love?

    Friendships change, and that’s OK! Sometimes you have to work on a relationship. That’s a good skill to have. If you talk things over, you might both feel better. But if you let the friendship fizzle, Kali might always wonder if she did something wrong. Is that how you want this to end?

Justin says: Keep trying.

    Wow, I thought you and Kali would be best friends forever! You’ve always been incredibly close, and I think it would be a mistake to walk away from all that shared history. You don’t need to hang out constantly to save the friendship—you just need to stay connected in the ways that work best for you.

    It’s great that you and Kali are finding new friends and following new interests, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bond over other stuff. You still share some passions, like listening to K-pop and singing—so why not continue to enjoy those things together?

    The truth is, friendships change—and that’s OK! It’s important to learn how to work on a relationship instead of giving up on it. If you tell Kali what you’re thinking, it might lead to an honest and helpful conversation. On the other hand, if you let the friendship fizzle, she might always wonder if she did something wrong. Is that really how you want this
to end?