Finding His Focus

    A week after I started to play tennis, I wanted to quit. I couldn’t hit a single ball. Each time I swung my racket and missed, a familiar feeling would bubble up inside me. It felt uncontrollable. 

    The best way I can describe it is this: You know when someone pretends to slap you, and you flinch away? You don’t even think about it. Your body just reacts. That’s what anger felt like. Before I had a chance to think, I would get upset.

    That first week on the court, my emotions were all over the place. I felt like I would never get better.

    I never could have guessed how much things would change for me in the next few years.

    A week after I started playing tennis, I wanted to quit. I couldn’t hit a single ball. Each time I swung my racket and missed, a familiar feeling would bubble up inside me. It felt uncontrollable.

    You know when someone pretends to slap you, and you flinch away? You don’t think about it. Your body just reacts. That’s what anger felt like. Before I had a chance to think, I would get mad.

    That first week on the court, my emotions were all over the place. I felt like I would never get better.

    I had no idea how much things would change for me in the next few years.

    A week after I started playing tennis, I was already seriously considering quitting. I couldn’t hit a single ball. Each time I swung my racket and missed, a familiar feeling would bubble up inside me. It felt uncontrollable.

    You know when someone pretends to slap you, and you automatically flinch? You don’t even think about it—your body simply reacts. I experienced anger in a similar way: Before I had a chance to think, I would get upset.

    That first week on the court, my emotions were all over the place. I felt like I would never get better.

    I never could have imagined how much things would change for me over the next few years.

    Anger is something I’ve always struggled with when I really care about something. I want to succeed, so I put a lot of pressure on myself. 

    When I played soccer as a little kid, frustration was a big problem for me. If I made a mistake, I would get upset. I’d think about the mistake for the whole game—sometimes even for the rest of the day.

    My behavior on the soccer field makes me cringe now. I remember kicking balls at players who made me angry. I threw fits when I missed a goal. I would blow up at any frustration or difficulty. It was like I couldn’t stop myself.

    My parents hoped sports would teach me discipline. But a team sport like soccer just wasn’t working for me. So that’s when I started playing tennis. 

    Anger is something I’ve always struggled with when I really care about something. I want to succeed, so I put a lot of pressure on myself.

    When I played soccer as a little kid, frustration was a big problem for me. If I made a mistake, I would get upset. I’d think about the mistake for the whole game—sometimes even for the rest of the day.

    I behaved badly on the soccer field. I kicked balls at players who made me angry. I threw fits when I missed a goal. I would blow up at any frustration or difficulty. It was like I couldn’t stop myself.

    My parents hoped sports would teach me discipline. But a team sport like soccer just wasn’t working for me. So I started playing tennis.

    Anger is something I’ve always struggled with when it comes to the things I really care about. I want to succeed, so I put tremendous pressure on myself.

    When I played soccer as a little kid, frustration was a major problem for me. If I made a mistake, I would get upset. I’d keep thinking about the mistake for the entire game—sometimes even for the rest of the day.

    Recalling my behavior on the soccer field makes me cringe now. I kicked balls at players who made me angry, and I threw fits when I missed a goal. I would explode at the slightest frustration or difficulty. It was like I couldn’t stop myself.

    My parents hoped sports would teach me discipline, but a team sport like soccer just wasn’t working for me—so I started playing tennis.

    My tennis coach encouraged me to get involved in First Serve Miami. It’s a group that gives kids free and low-cost tennis lessons.

    By the time I started there, I had gotten better at tennis. But my emotions were still all over the place. I would get so angry if I lost a match—or even if I tripped on the court. And once I got mad, it was hard to recover.

    The coaches at First Serve Miami saw potential in me. They taught me some helpful ways to deal with strong feelings. The main thing is breathing. It sounds so basic. But focusing on your breath can really calm you down when you’re worked up. 

    My tennis coach encouraged me to get involved in First Serve Miami. It’s a group that gives kids free and low-cost tennis lessons. 

    By the time I started there, I had gotten better at tennis. But my emotions were still all over the place. I would get angry if I lost a match—or even if I tripped on the court. And once I got mad, it was hard to recover.

    The coaches at First Serve Miami saw potential in me. They taught me some ways to deal with strong feelings. The main thing is breathing. Focusing on your breathing can really calm you down.

    My tennis coach encouraged me to get involved in First Serve Miami, an organization that gives kids free and low-cost tennis lessons. 

    By the time I started there, I had gotten better at tennis, but my emotions were still out of control. I would get so angry if I lost a match—or even if I tripped on the court. And once I got mad, it was difficult to recover.

    The coaches at First Serve Miami saw potential in me and taught me some helpful ways to manage strong feelings. The main thing is breathing. It sounds so basic, but concentrating on your breathing can really calm you down when you’re overwhelmed by emotions.

    I found a lot of mentors at First Serve Miami. They helped me realize that the way I was talking to myself during matches wasn’t helping me. If I made a mistake, I would be really hard on myself. Then it became harder to get my mind back in the game. 

    So now I try to focus on encouraging myself instead. If I mess up, I tell myself “keep going.” I think ahead to my next move rather than getting stuck on the last one. 

    The most important thing I’ve learned is that anger itself isn’t bad. I’m not a bad person for struggling with it. Because here’s the thing: Anger is going to come up no matter who you are. You can’t avoid it. 

    But you can learn how to deal with it. 

    I found mentors at First Serve Miami. They showed me that the way I was talking to myself during matches wasn’t helping me. If I made a mistake, I would be really hard on myself. That made it harder to get my mind back in the game.

    Now I encourage myself. If I mess up, I tell myself “keep going.” I think ahead to my next move rather than getting stuck on the last one.

    The most important thing I’ve learned is that anger isn’t bad. I’m not a bad person for struggling with it. Anger is a part of life. You can’t avoid it.

    But you can learn how to deal with it. 

    In addition, my mentors at First Serve Miami helped me understand that the way I was talking to myself during matches was unproductive. If I made a mistake, I would be extremely hard on myself—which made it more difficult to get my mind back in the game.

    So now I focus on encouraging myself instead. If I mess up, I tell myself “keep going.” I think ahead to my next move rather than getting stuck on the last one.

    The most important thing I’ve learned is that anger itself isn’t bad, and I’m not a bad person for struggling with it. Anger is going to come up no matter who you are. You can’t avoid it.

    But you can learn how to deal with it.