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Life After Loss

When Jacob’s little brother died, he felt like he was the only kid dealing with grief. Then a special summer camp showed him he’s not alone—and how art could help him heal.

April 2024

by Jacob-Akin Adams, as told to Anna Starecheski

grief

deep sadness, especially because of a death

My sister told me that talking about my grief with a loved one could help me feel better.

photo credit: SynthEx/Shutterstock

process

to deal with something mentally or emotionally

I’m still trying to process the fact that my best friend is moving out of the country.

photo credit: Pressmaster/Shutterstock

memorials

items or events created to remember a person who has died

Several neighbors left flowers in the park as memorials for victims of the accident.

photo credit: hydebrink/Shutterstock

represent

to stand in place of something

Images of doves are often used to represent peace.

photo credit: LittlePerfectStock/Shutterstock

grieving

feeling or showing deep sadness, especially because of a loss

After our family dog died, we spent weeks grieving and looking at old photos of her.

photo credit: umaruchan4678/Shutterstock

If you’ve ever been to camp, you know how scary that first day can be.

You don’t know anyone. You’re away from your family and your home. You wonder: What if I don’t make any friends? What if I don’t have fun?

That’s how I felt the first time I went to Camp Erin.

I was 6 years old. It looked like any other camp. There was a lake, cabins with bunk beds, and smiling counselors in matching T-shirts.

But Camp Erin was special. Every kid there had something important in common. We had all lost someone close to us.

Losing Elijah

Image of a toddler with their baby brother

Courtesy of Family

Jacob (left), and his brother, Elijah

I don’t remember much about my little brother, Elijah. I remember sitting on the couch watching movies together. I remember him making us all laugh by wearing just a diaper and a fedora hat. Mostly, I remember being really excited to be a big brother.

When I was 2 and Elijah was 1, there was a fire in our house. It started in the room with Elijah’s crib. He survived the fire, but died from his injuries a month later.

Our whole lives changed that day. We lost our house. We ended up moving to a new city.

And I didn’t have a little brother anymore.

Even though I barely remember Elijah, the loss still hurts. The grief can hit me anytime. I’ll just be in the house, and all of a sudden, I’ll feel really lonely and empty. It’s like there’s something missing in my life.

Not Alone

I actually used to be embarrassed about my loss. I was worried what people would think if I told them. What questions would they ask? Would they think I’m weird? Would they make fun of me?

Honestly, I felt pretty alone. Then I heard about Camp Erin. My mom and I had both been going to grief counseling at a place called the Wendt Center. My therapist thought its camp might be good for me.

The point of Camp Erin is to help kids like me process our grief. It has all the fun parts of other summer camps, like swimming, games, and campfires. But it’s also about healing. We talk about the people we lost and share our feelings with each other.

Making Art

Many of my favorite parts of camp involve art. For example, we have decorated tiny wooden boats as memorials for our loved ones. We have also painted masks to represent the face we show to the world when we hide our feelings.

These activities taught me something important: Doing art really made me feel better.

Since I realized that, I’ve been drawing and taking photos. When I’m drawing, it’s like nothing else matters. If I’m angry or sad, it helps me feel calmer.

Taking photos also feels like an escape. I can go outside and see things in a different way through my camera.

Image of a teen smiling while holding a camera

Ryan Donnell

A Creative Escape
Jacob’s hobbies help him cope.

At Camp Erin, I met kids who know what it’s like to lose someone. I got support from counselors who still help me today. And I learned so much about how to deal with hard feelings.

Sometimes people ask me what advice I would give to another grieving kid. My answer is pretty simple: Talk about it. If you keep feelings like anger or sadness inside, they don’t disappear. They just get bigger and harder to deal with.

Plus, talking about your experiences is a way to let other people in. If you tell them what’s going on, they’ll probably understand. Maybe they’ll even have good advice.

Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things a person can go through. When it happens to you as a kid, it’s even harder.

You might feel different from your classmates and friends. But if Camp Erin has taught me one thing, it’s that you’re not alone.

ACTIVITY:
Problem and Solution

You’ve just read “Life After Loss.” Now it’s time to do this activity.

What to do: The story describes a problem that Jacob faced and how it was solved. Fill in the blanks below. First identify the solution. Then write down details from the story that help you understand the problem and solution.