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I’m 17, and I Take Care of My Abuela

More than 1 million kids in the U.S. help take care of a family member. Daniel Garcia, 17, is one of them. This is the true story of what he has given up to help his grandmother—and also what he has gained.

March 2019

By Michelle Crouch

It’s 1 a.m., and Daniel Garcia is fast asleep. Suddenly, an alarm jolts him awake. Daniel knows very well what that alarm means. It means his grandma needs him again.

Daniel’s grandma is 85 years old. She has trouble walking by herself. At night, she pushes a button when she needs help. The button rings an alarm to wake Daniel up.

Daniel, 17, drags himself out of bed. He goes to his grandma’s room and helps her to the bathroom. Then he collapses back into bed. He has to wake up for school in less than five hours. But he knows there’s a chance the alarm will ring again.

Daniel does this night after night after night. This is Daniel’s life as a teen caregiver.

It’s 1 a.m., and Daniel Garcia is asleep. Suddenly, an alarm goes off. Daniel knows what that means: His grandma needs him again.

Daniel’s grandma is 85 years old. She has trouble walking by herself. At night, she pushes a button when she needs help. The button rings an alarm to wake Daniel up.

Daniel, 17, gets out of bed. He goes to his grandma’s room and helps her to the bathroom. Then he collapses back into bed. He has to wake up for school in less than five hours. But he knows the alarm might ring again.

Daniel does this night after night. He’s a teen caregiver.

It’s 1 a.m., and Daniel Garcia is fast asleep. Suddenly, an alarm jolts him awake. Daniel knows very well what that alarm means. It means his grandma needs him again.

Daniel’s grandma is 85 years old, and she has difficulty walking by herself. At night, she pushes a button when she needs help. The button rings an alarm to wake Daniel up.

Daniel, 17, drags himself out of bed. He goes to his grandmother’s room and helps her to the bathroom. Then he collapses back into bed. He has to wake up for school in less than five hours. But he knows there’s a possibility that the alarm will ring again.

Daniel does this night after night after night. This is Daniel’s life as a teen caregiver.

Being a Caregiver

Michael Weschler Photography

Time for Fun
Daniel and his grandma love to play a game called dominoes together.

A caregiver is someone who looks after a person who is sick or disabled. Most caregivers are adults. But there are about 1.4 million kids in the U.S. caring for a parent, grandparent, brother, or sister.

Daniel became a caregiver after his grandmother had a bad fall. Afterward, she couldn’t walk on her own. She had trouble breathing and couldn’t do everyday tasks without help. Sometimes she got confused. Her doctor said she shouldn’t be left alone for long periods.

Daniel’s dad works until 10 p.m. So he asked Daniel to care for his abuela (ah-BWEH-la)—that’s grandmother in Spanish—after school.

At the time, Daniel was 15. He hadn’t spent much time with his grandma before. But she was family, and he knew it was the right thing to do.

Daniel became a caregiver after his grandma had a bad fall. Afterward, she couldn’t walk on her own. She had trouble breathing. She needed help with everyday tasks. Sometimes she got confused. Her doctor said she shouldn’t be left alone for long periods.

Daniel’s dad works until 10 p.m. So he asked Daniel to care for his abuela (ah-BWEH-la)—that’s grandmother in Spanish—after school.

At the time, Daniel was 15. He hadn’t spent much time with his grandma. But she was family, and he knew it was the right thing to do.

A caregiver is someone who looks after a person who is sick or disabled. Most caregivers are adults—but there are also approximately 1.4 million kids in the U.S. caring for a parent, grandparent, or sibling.

Daniel became a caregiver after his grandmother had a bad fall and could no longer walk independently. She had trouble breathing and couldn’t do everyday tasks without help, and she sometimes became confused. Her doctor said she shouldn’t be left alone for long periods.

Daniel’s father works until 10 p.m., so he asked Daniel to care for his abuela (ah-BWEH-la)—that’s grandmother in Spanish—after school.

At the time, Daniel was 15. He hadn’t spent much time with his grandma before—but she was family, and he knew it was the right thing to do.

A New Schedule

Daniel used to play soccer after school. Now his afternoons are very different. He makes his grandma’s food. He hooks her up to a machine that helps her breathe. Then he does his homework while she watches soap operas.

In the evenings, Daniel makes dinner, helps his grandma bathe, and gets her ready for bed. He squeezes in extra studying after his grandma is asleep.

Many days, Daniel feels exhausted. But he has learned how to cope. Taking a 10- or 15-minute nap after school helps him feel less tired.

Daniel also recently joined a support group for teen caregivers. He says it’s nice to talk to other kids who understand. “It’s a place where I can be myself—where people don’t think I’m weird because I take care of my grandma,” he says.

Daniel used to play soccer after school. Now he goes home. He makes food for his grandma. He hooks her up to a machine that helps her breathe. While she watches TV, he does homework.

In the evenings, Daniel makes dinner. He helps his grandma bathe and get ready for bed. When she’s asleep, he studies.

Daniel is often tired. But a short nap after school helps.

He also joined a support group for teen caregivers. He likes talking to other kids who understand. “It’s a place where I can be myself—where people don’t think I’m weird because I take care of my grandma,” he says.

Daniel used to play soccer after school. Now his afternoons are very different. He prepares his grandmother’s food and hooks her up to a machine that helps her breathe. Then he does his homework while she watches soap operas.

In the evenings, Daniel makes dinner, helps his grandma bathe, and gets her ready for bed. He squeezes in extra studying after his grandma is asleep.

Daniel often feels exhausted, but he has learned how to cope. Taking a 10- or 15-minute nap after school helps him feel more energetic.

Daniel also recently joined a support group for teenage caregivers. He says it’s nice to talk to other kids who understand. “It’s a place where I can be myself—where people don’t think I’m weird because I take care of my grandma,” he explains.

Having Fun

Michael Weschler Photography (bird feeding, bike riding); Courtesy Garcia family (homecoming dance)

Work and Play
1. Daniel helps care for his grandma’s pet birds.
2. Daniel poses with a friend at their homecoming dance.

Yes, Daniel has a lot of responsibility for a teenager. But he and his grandma also have fun. They talk about life. They listen to their favorite Latin American country music. Sometimes, Daniel pushes her around in her wheeled walker like a race car. “That makes her laugh,” he says. “She’s awesome.”

Often Daniel hears his friends talk about hanging out after school. Sometimes he feels sad and angry about what he’s missing. Then he thinks back to a special moment last year. His grandma called him over and said, “Danny, I’m so thankful for what you’re doing. I love you so much.”

Daniel felt his anger melt away. His grandma wasn’t usually affectionate, so her words were powerful. “It made every difficult moment worth it,” he says.

Daniel’s life is not easy. But he and his grandma have fun. They talk about life. They listen to Latin American country music. Sometimes, Daniel pushes her around the house in her wheeled walker like a race car. “That makes her laugh,” he says. “She’s awesome.”

Daniel’s friends hang out after school. Sometimes he feels angry about what he’s missing. Then he thinks back to a moment last year. His grandma called him over and said, “Danny, I’m so thankful for what you’re doing. I love you so much.”

Daniel felt his anger melt away. His grandma wasn’t often affectionate. This meant a lot. “It made every difficult moment worth it,” he says.

Daniel shoulders a lot of responsibility for a teenager—but he and his grandma also have fun together. They talk about life and listen to their favorite Latin American country music. Sometimes, Daniel pushes her around the house in her wheeled walker like a race car. “That makes her laugh,” he says. “She’s awesome.”

Sometimes, when Daniel hears his friends talk about hanging out after school, he feels frustrated and upset about what he’s missing. Then he thinks back to a special moment last year. His grandma called him over and said, “Danny, I’m so thankful for what you’re doing. I love you so much.”

Daniel felt his anger melt away. His grandma wasn’t usually affectionate, so her words were powerful. “It made every difficult moment worth it,” he says.

Plans for College

Next year, Daniel plans to go away to college. And his dad has promised to take good care of his abuela while he’s gone. But Daniel won’t forget caring for her. In fact, he wants to become a doctor so he can help disabled people like her.

Caregiving has taught Daniel a lot. He learned how to do what you need to do even when it’s hard. And he learned how to make the most of every moment.

“I always knew I loved my family,” Daniel says. “Now I know what it’s like to care about someone even more than you care about yourself. It sounds corny, but I think that’s what real love is.”

Next year, Daniel plans to go away to college. His dad has promised to take good care of his grandma. But Daniel won’t forget caring for her. He wants to become a doctor so he can help disabled people like her.

Daniel has grown a lot in the last two years. He gets things done even when they’re hard. And he makes the most of every moment.

“I always knew I loved my family,” he says. “Now I know what it’s like to care about someone even more than you care about yourself. It sounds corny, but I think that’s what real love is.”

Next year, Daniel plans to go away to college. His dad has promised to take good care of his abuela in his absence, but Daniel won’t forget caring for her. In fact, he wants to become a doctor so he can help disabled people like her.

Daniel has learned a great deal from his caregiving experiences: He’s learned how to do what you need to do even when it’s difficult, and he’s learned how to make the most of every moment.

ACTIVITY:
Cause and Effect

You’ve just read “I’m 17, and I Take Care of My Abuela.” It’s time to try this activity!

What to do: A cause is what makes an event happen. An effect is what happens as a result. In the chart below, fill in the missing causes and effects.